Vayetze

"Vayetze" means "departed."  In this week's parsha, Yakov (Jacob) departs from his home in Be'er Sheva to travel towards Charan, the home of his Uncle Lavan (Laban.) The purpose of his journey is to find a suitable wife.

Why does Yakov have to leave his home to find a wife?

Yakov's twin brother, Esav (Esau), marries two Chittite (non-Jewish) women. Their marriages greatly trouble his parents, Yitzchak (Isaac) and Rivka (Rebecca.)  Rivka tells Yitzchak that she is afraid that Yakov, too, will marry a woman from among the Canaanites instead of someone from their ancestral home, their own tribal family. We see that the issue of intermarriage between Jews and non-Jews has been a concern since the beginning of Jewish history.

The traditional request when a Jewish baby is born is that we should merit to see the child stand under the chuppah, the Jewish wedding canopy.  From birth, before the infant can stand on her own two feet, or speak intelligibly, we are already thinking about whom she will marry!  We don't picture her first birthday party, her bat mitzvah or her high school graduation.  We jump immediately to the critical moment when the grown child will guarantee that her own children will be Jewish. The chain that links us to our ancestors will not be broken, and the character traits they possess will be transmitted to the next generation.

It's hard to look at a chubby-cheeked toddler and think about whom he will marry.  But that is exactly when we should begin talking to our children about the importance of marrying someone Jewish. We should convey our expectations firmly, so that from an early age our children understand that no other option is acceptable.  When the children are school-age, we can begin to explain to them our complicated history, so they can begin to comprehend why they must not intermarry.

We must give our children a Jewish education that will foster their pride in being Jewish, but more importantly, an understanding of what it means to be Jewish in a largely non-Jewish world. This education cannot end at the tender age of 12 or 13, for this is exactly when children are old enough to begin independent thinking.

We cannot leave this education in the hands of the professionals. We, parents, must become informed and passionate enough about our heritage to convey it to our children. Our homes, our actions and our words must serve as living testimony that being Jewish, and ultimately marrying Jewish, is of paramount importance.

Many of us live in communities in which there aren't many Jews, or where Jews are highly assimilated or intermarried. There are few opportunities for our children to socialize with Jewish children in a Jewish environment. Yitzchak and Rivka knew that there was little possibility of Yakov marrying a Jewish woman if he remained in the community in which he was raised. They send him away to give him the chance to meet a suitable spouse. We, parents, are obligated to seek out Jewish educational and social opportunities for our children, whether they are in our own community, or far from home.