This week’s parsha begins with the laws concerning vows and
oaths. “Moshe spoke to the Roshei haMatot [heads of the tribes] of the
Children of Israel, saying this is the thing the L-rd has commanded: If a man
makes a vow to the L-rd or makes an oath to prohibit himself, he shall not
violate his word; according to whatever came out of his mouth, he shall do.”
The commentators discuss the unusual manner of transmission
of these laws. They note that most of the laws are taught directly to the Children
of Israel or to the Kohanim (priests). Why are the laws concerning vows and oaths
transmitted directly to the heads of the tribes?
Rashi writes: “He honored the chieftains by teaching them
first…It is to teach us that annulment of vows may be performed by a single
expert, and if no single expert is available, it may be annulled by three
laymen.” In other words, the elders and
leaders play a crucial role in the laws of vows. Only these “experts” have the
power to annul vows – to determine if a vow is invalid or inconsequential, or
made through fear or duress.
Writes Rabbi Yissocher Frand on torah.org: “According to the
Ramban, these laws are only given to the Roshei haMatot, the nation’s
leaders, who could be trusted to deal with these concepts with the level of
sophistication and reverence that they deserve.” The subject is so complex that
an entire tractate of Talmud, Nedarim (vows), is devoted to the topic.
Writes Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetsky on torah.org: “The Torah
transmits the laws of oaths through the heads of each tribe because it wants to
reiterate the importance of a leader’s adherence to commitment. The eyes of
a nation are focused on their words, their promises and their commitments. It
is no wonder that the Torah specifies the role of tribal leaders when
discussing the importance of commitment. For when the leaders keep
their word, the nation follows in step.”
As parents, we should be careful not to make promises, or to
say anything that might be construed as a promise, unless we fully intend to
follow through. Our children count on us to meet their needs and to fulfill
their reasonable requests. Broken promises betray a child’s trust and do
lasting damage to the parent-child bond.
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