Thursday, October 3, 2013

Bereishit 5774



To the woman He said, ‘I shall surely increase your sorrow and your travail; in pain you shall bear children.’” (Bereishit 3:16) 

After Adam and Chava eat forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, Talmud (Eiruvim 100b) explains that G-d makes ten changes for each of them, one of which is difficulty raising children. (The “changes” are sometimes called “curses,” which has a negative connotation.  “Changes” is neutral.)

Dr. Lisa Aiken in her book To Be a Jewish Woman, explains that G-d intended that child-rearing would cause anguish.  Nursing, dressing, cleaning and carrying around offspring until they are independent is meant to be challenging.  Parents, especially mothers, are supposed to worry that our children might not grow up the way we parents would like.  

Writes Dr. Aiken: “Parents will find it painful to raise children beyond the obvious physical and emotional difficulties of child-rearing. They [our Sages] suggest that parents will find child-rearing painful because children reflect their parents’ shortcomings, and whatever contradictions and character flaws parents express, children pick up and mimic with impunity.”  Dr Aiken contends that this is what drives parents to overcome our own negative traits.  

Regarding the anxiety about how our children will turn out, Dr. Aiken writes: “Mothers must recognize that they can’t control their children’s lives. This forces them to realize the centrality of G-d’s protection and intervention, and how, without His help, children can’t possibly thrive.”

As parents, when we face challenges raising our children, we should draw closer to G-d, the Ultimate parent, and ask for His help and guidance.

http://www.dafyomi.co.il/eruvin/points/ev-ps-100.htm

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