Vayechi 5774

“…And Yisrael (Israel) prostrated himself….” (Bereishit/Genesis 47:31)

In this week’s Torah portion, Yaakov (Jacob, called Yisrael in this verse) near the end of his life, calls his son Yosef (Joseph) to his bedside. Rashi notes that Yaakov bows down to Yosef, even though it normally would be improper for a father to do so for a son. Quoting from Talmud (Megillah 16b) -- “Although the lion is king, when it is the time of the fox, bow down to him” -- Rashi explains that Yaakov shows Yosef the respect he deserves as reigning viceroy, royalty.

According to the Kehot Chumash, there is another reason Yaakov bows to Yosef: He wants to arouse Yosef’s sense of power and grant him the confidence required to carry out Yaakov’s request to be buried in Israel, even though Pharaoh would insist that Yaakov be laid to rest in Egypt. 

Writes Rosally Saltsman in Parenting by the Book: “We learn from this that we have to treat our children…when they grow up, with the respect accorded to adults of their stature.” She notes that many of our children become rabbis, doctors or judges and are given titles that convey their status.  While others address our grown children as rabbi, doctor, or your honor, we parents may still want to call them Rivkele or Moishy, Becky or Mikey.

Mrs. Saltsman continues: “It is important, especially in public, that parents acknowledge the official status of their children and certainly the fact that they are grown up. No matter what their stature, there are those who will look up to them as older and wiser (such as their children) and we have to maintain that truth in their eyes.”

As parents of grown children, we should remember that even when children are adults and have acquired status, they will still turn to us for approval, and they require our continued love, support and appropriate respect.