“Miriam and Aharon spoke against Moshe regarding the
Cushite woman he had married.” (Bamidbar/Numbers 12:1)
At the end of this week’s parsha, Behaalotcha, Miriam
discovers that Moshe (Moses) has separated from his wife. She discusses her
concern with Aharon (Aaron). They equate Moshe’s level of prophecy with their
own and cannot understand why Moshe has chosen to abstain from marital
relations while they remain with their spouses. In fact, G-d has instructed
Moshe to remain ritually pure so that he constantly is prepared to receive G-d’s
word.
G-d becomes angry that Miriam has criticized His most exalted
prophet and He afflicts Miriam with tzaraat, a leprosy-like skin condition.
For seven days, until she recovers, Miriam is exiled from the camp. The people in
the camp do not move on until Miriam rejoins them, giving them time to contemplate
the importance of shmirat lashon (guarding one’s speech).
“Send out for yourself men who will scout the Land of
Canaan, which I am giving to the Children of Israel.” (Bamidbar/Numbers 13:1)
At the beginning of next week’s parsha, Shelach, Moshe sends
out scouts to report on the condition of the Land of Israel. They describe the
Land as one that “devours its inhabitants”. Wherever they go, they witness
funerals, so they assume the Land is dangerous. In fact, G-d has arranged for
there to be many deaths and burials during the scouts’ visit so that the
inhabitants of the Land will be distracted and not notice the scouts.
Rabbi Mordechai Willig on torahweb.org comments on the juxtaposition
of the two Torah portions: “Miriam’s basic mistake was the misinterpretation of
the facts. She thought that Moshe had decided on his own to abstain, and she
questioned his decision. In reality, however, Moshe was commanded to do so.
Miriam’s lashon hara (improper speech) was caused by her incorrect
understanding of a situation that she had discovered.”
Rabbi Willig notes that the scouts made a mistake similar to
the one Miriam made. Writes Rabbi Willig: “The lesson that the meraglim (scouts)
should have learned from Miriam was the need to be certain about the facts
before criticizing a person or a land…Once the negative impression of the land
took hold in the people’s minds, it was impossible to uproot. Such is the power
of negative speech…that it is difficult, if not impossible, to rectify.”
As parents, we must make sure we have all the facts before
we criticize our children. We should not rush to judgment and should always
give them the benefit of the doubt. If we must criticize, we should do so
privately so that we do not embarrass our children, and so that we do not
creative a negative impression of them for others.
http://www.torahweb.org/torah/2000/parsha/rwil_teitsei.html
