Emor 5774

“The son of an Israelite woman and an Egyptian man went out among the Children of Israel. And this son of the Israelite woman quarreled in the camp with an Israelite man. And the son of the Israelite woman pronounced the [Divine] name and cursed. So they brought him to Moshe (Moses). His mother’s name was Shlomit, daughter of Divri, of the tribe of Dan.” (Vayikra/Leviticus 24:10-11)

Why does Torah include the name of the blasphemer’s mother?

Rashi comments that the mother’s name provides insight about her character. He writes: “[The name Shlomit denotes that] she was a chatterbox, [always going about saying to men] “Shalom aleich (peace unto you or how are you?) [She would] greet everyone and ask about their welfare. Divri [from the verb mDaBeRet, denotes that] she was very loquacious, talking with every person. This is why she sinned.”  Rabbi A.L Scheinbaum in Peninim on the Torah suggests that shalom aleich is an opening to a conversation that could lead to idle gossip.

The Midrash explains that the blasphemer’s biological father took advantage of Shlomit. She greeted the Egyptian taskmaster with a smile when he came to her home to pick up her Israelite husband for slave labor. When the husband left the house, the Egyptian entered and Shlomit mistook him for her husband. The blasphemer was conceived during that interaction.

Writes Rabbi Zvi Teichman on BaltimoreJewishLife.com: “When dibur (speech) becomes merely a tool by which one gets noticed, bereft of any significant feelings, where one seeks merely to satisfy one’s instinctive craving for attention, it leads so often to indulgence and sin…Why does one ‘seek the welfare’ of everyone indiscriminately? Why does one enjoy purposeless chatter? Because it gives a false sense of being valued. But when the attention is not based on values or true self worth, then it descends rapidly to depravity.”

“She [Shlomit] was…someone just desperate for attention, a shallow relationship devoid of content…The blasphemer who was bred in an environment of superficiality cannot possibly possess the depth necessary to deal with frustration. He knows of only one way to draw attention – by cursing in a knee-jerk expression of utter frustration devoid of any meaning.”

Writes Rebbetzin Chana Bracha Siegelbaum in Women at the Crossroads: “Scripture refers to the uncontrolled speech of the mother of the blasphemer to teach us that a mother has a special responsibility to teach her children proper behavior by example. The way we use our Divine capability of speech has repercussions in our children…As mothers, we must realize our great responsibility in building the character of our children. They are influenced by who we are rather than what we preach.”

The Rebbetzin strongly cautions against blaming the mother for the child’s actions; she notes that many factors besides the mother’s character influence the child’s outcome. She gives this blessing: “May our continued endeavor to perfect our character and get closer to G-d eventually rub off on our children.”

http://www.baltimorejewishlife.com/news/print.php?ARTICLE_ID=37422

http://www.aish.com/tp/i/moha/92077274.html

Beshalach 5774

“Speak to the Children of Israel and let them turn back (v’yashvu) and encamp (v’yachanu) before Pi-hachirot.” (Shemot/Exodus 14:2)

In this week’s Torah portion, Pharaoh finally frees the Israelites from slavery. G-d leads the people through the desert on the way to the Red Sea. He instructs Moshe (Moses) to have them stop at the Egyptian city Pithom, here renamed Pi-hachirot. Explains Rashi based on Mechilta: The chirot are two high upright rocks with a valley between them called pi, mouth. The word chirot is related to chorin, free, so Pi-hachirot is “mouth of the free.”

Above is the literal translation of the verse, according to context. Rabbi Yisrael Bronstein in A Shabbos Vort notes that the Ohev Yisrael finds an alternate translation of the verse that hints at an important lesson. While v’yashvu can be translated as “return” or “turn back” it can also be rendered as “sit.”  In addition to meaning “encamp” v’yachanu can also mean “pause.”  Thus, the Ohev Yisrael’s alternate translation is: “Sit and pause before freeing the mouth.”

As parents, it is critical to hold back before we admonish our children or speak negatively. Too often we express ourselves in the heat of passion, not letting a moment go by before we criticize or discipline. While speaking our mind might bring immediate gratification, we must remember that spoken words can never be retrieved. The sting of hurtful language pervades long after its expression.

Behaalotcha/Shelach 5773

“Miriam and Aharon spoke against Moshe regarding the Cushite woman he had married.” (Bamidbar/Numbers 12:1)

At the end of this week’s parsha, Behaalotcha, Miriam discovers that Moshe (Moses) has separated from his wife. She discusses her concern with Aharon (Aaron). They equate Moshe’s level of prophecy with their own and cannot understand why Moshe has chosen to abstain from marital relations while they remain with their spouses. In fact, G-d has instructed Moshe to remain ritually pure so that he constantly is prepared to receive G-d’s word.

G-d becomes angry that Miriam has criticized His most exalted prophet and He afflicts Miriam with tzaraat, a leprosy-like skin condition. For seven days, until she recovers, Miriam is exiled from the camp. The people in the camp do not move on until Miriam rejoins them, giving them time to contemplate the importance of shmirat lashon (guarding one’s speech).

“Send out for yourself men who will scout the Land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Children of Israel.”  (Bamidbar/Numbers 13:1)

At the beginning of next week’s parsha, Shelach, Moshe sends out scouts to report on the condition of the Land of Israel. They describe the Land as one that “devours its inhabitants”. Wherever they go, they witness funerals, so they assume the Land is dangerous. In fact, G-d has arranged for there to be many deaths and burials during the scouts’ visit so that the inhabitants of the Land will be distracted and not notice the scouts.

Rabbi Mordechai Willig on torahweb.org comments on the juxtaposition of the two Torah portions: “Miriam’s basic mistake was the misinterpretation of the facts. She thought that Moshe had decided on his own to abstain, and she questioned his decision. In reality, however, Moshe was commanded to do so. Miriam’s lashon hara (improper speech) was caused by her incorrect understanding of a situation that she had discovered.”

Rabbi Willig notes that the scouts made a mistake similar to the one Miriam made. Writes Rabbi Willig: “The lesson that the meraglim (scouts) should have learned from Miriam was the need to be certain about the facts before criticizing a person or a land…Once the negative impression of the land took hold in the people’s minds, it was impossible to uproot. Such is the power of negative speech…that it is difficult, if not impossible, to rectify.”

As parents, we must make sure we have all the facts before we criticize our children. We should not rush to judgment and should always give them the benefit of the doubt. If we must criticize, we should do so privately so that we do not embarrass our children, and so that we do not creative a negative impression of them for others.  

http://www.torahweb.org/torah/2000/parsha/rwil_teitsei.html