Shemini 5774

“You shall be holy because I am holy. This is the law regarding animals, birds, all living creatures…to distinguish between the impure and the pure, and between the living creature (chayah) that may be eaten and the living creature that may not be eaten.” (Vayikra/Leviticus 11:45-47)

Rav Yissocher Frand on torah.org cites Rashi’s explanation of “you shall be holy.” Rashi interprets the phrase as “you shall be removed.”  Writes Rav Frand: “The Jewish definition of holiness is one who knows how to abstain, how to exert self control. A person who is not self-indulgent is, by our definition, a holy person.”

Talmud (Yoma 82b) tells the story of two pregnant women during the fast of Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement).  Both women are tempted to break their fast when the aroma of delicious food arouses their craving. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi and Rabbi Chanina advise the women’s friends to whisper in their ears, “Today is Yom Kippur.” One woman’s cravings subside; the other cannot resist eating. The woman who abstains from eating gives birth to Rabbi Yochanan ben Nafcha, one of the greatest of the Amoraim. The other woman gives birth to the unethical Shabsai, who hoards fruit and sells it at high prices.

Rabbi Yisrael Bronstein in A Shabbos Vort credits Rabbi Akiva Eiger for pointing out hints in the verse. A woman who has recently given birth is referred to as a chayah.  Therefore, the verse may be read: “to distinguish between a child who will be virtuous [pure] or not, look at whether or not the mother ate on Yom Kippur.”

Rav Frand notes that today, if a pregnant woman must eat on Yom Kippur, it does not indicate that she will give birth to an evil child. The Talmud story relates to a time period in which people were on a high spiritual level and were held to stricter standards than today.

Why should self-indulgence be related to a lack of holiness?

Rav Frand gives the explanation he learned from Rav Neiman in Darchei Mussar: “Eventually, self-indulgence affects not only one’s relationship with G-d, but one’s relationship with his fellow man as well. If a person is self-indulgent, he is focused on ‘my needs must be gratified.’ This is the opposite of a holy person. Someone who must always satisfy his needs and his appetites will eventually not be a nice person to his fellow man.”

“Holiness is not only a concept that exists between man and G-d. Holiness also affects how we conduct our daily lives and how we interact with society. Learning to control our urges and desires causes our dealings in the marketplace and business world to be different as well.”

As parents, we cannot afford to be self-indulgent; our children’s needs come before our own desires. Pregnancy and parenting teach us to become disciplined, to fight impulses and to abstain from actions that might endanger ourselves or our children. Parenting makes us holy.

http://torah.org/learning/ravfrand/5760/shemini.html