Vayechi 5771

This week's parsha is called Vayechi, which means "and he lived." This seems like a misnomer, since the parsha deals with the death of Yakov (Jacob.) On his deathbed, Yakov blesses all of his children, including the sons of Yosef (Joseph), Ephraim and Menashe, whom he adopts as his own. When Yakov blesses the boys, he says, "[The children of] Israel will bless [their sons] saying, 'may G-d make you like Ephraim and Menashe.'"

Why does Yakov choose his grandsons' names to be used as a blessing for future generations?

Yakov understands that each succeeding generation will be farther from the spiritual purity of the generations of the Patriarchs. Ephraim and Menashe, however, defy this trend. The boys manage to retain their spiritual purity despite having grown up in Egypt among non-Jews. In addition, Ephraim and Menashe are the first brothers in Torah who get along with one another. Yakov directs parents of future generations to pray that our children, like Ephraim and Menashe, will continue to embrace a Jewish way of life no matter where life takes them, and will always get along with one other. The ancient blessing links the current generation to the generations of the Patriarchs.

Today, thankfully, there is no need for parents to wait until we are on our deathbed to bless our children. Today, it is customary for parents to bless our children before sitting down to the Friday evening dinner. For boys, we say: "May G-d make you like Ephraim and Menashe." For girls, we say: "May G-d make you like Sarah, Rivka (Rebecca), Rachel and Leah." These Matriarchs exemplify compassion, modesty, fortitude and wisdom, traits we wish our daughters to emulate.

We parents can also take advantage of the calm and quiet of bedtime to bless our children. The verses following the bedtime recital of the Shema (Hear O Israel, the L-rd our G-d, the L-rd is One) include the blessing Yakov gives Ephraim and Menashe: "May the angel who redeems me from all evil bless the lads, and may my name be declared upon them, and the names of my forefathers Abraham and Yitzchak (Isaac), and may they proliferate abundantly like fish within the land."

It is reassuring for children to hear our blessings said aloud, or at least whispered in their ears. The blessing creates a special moment of intimacy and mindfulness in an otherwise busy and disjointed day. We don't necessarily need to use words of Torah for these blessings. And we don't have to wait until Friday night or bedtime. We can say a quick blessing on the way out the door in the morning. "Learn well today" means "May G-d help you to be a good student today."

In blessing our children, we simply are telling them that we love them and are proud of them, and we are sharing with them our hopes and dreams for their future. The blessing serves to petition G-d to bring these hopes and dreams to fruition.