Mishpatim 5774

“And these are (V’AiLeH) the laws (HaMiShPaTiYM) that (ASheR) you should set (TaSiYM) before them (LiPNaYHeM).” (Shemot/Exodus 21:1)

Rabbi Yisrael Bronstein writes in A Shabbos Vort that the Ba’al HaTurim sees in the Hebrew verse an acrostic containing a hidden message about how judges should conduct themselves during hearings.

V’AiLeH – V’chayav Adam Lachkor Hadin – A person is required to investigate the case.

HaMiShPaTiYM – Hadayan Metzuveh Sheya’aseh Pe’sharah Terem Ya’aseh Mishpat -- The judge is obligated to find a middle ground before imposing a ruling,

ASheR – Im Shneihem Rotzim – Assuming the two [parties] are willing [to compromise].

TaSiYM – Tishma Sheneihem Yachad Medabrim – Listen as the two [parties] speak.

LiPNaYHeM – Lo Pnei Nadiv Yehader; Hisnaker Meihem – Do not show favor to the wealthy man; estrange yourself from them [the litigants.]

As parents, we often find ourselves settling arguments between our children. The rules for judges that are implied in the verse can help us arrive at fair decisions and restore peace to our homes. First, we must listen to each child describe what caused the argument and what needs to be resolved. Then, if the children are receptive to our arbitration, we must deliberate until we can provide an equitable solution. Throughout the process, we must be careful to show no favoritism; we must not be influenced by a child’s promise in exchange for a favorable ruling. Our children will learn the value of finding a middle ground and of agreeing to compromise.

Korach 5773

In this week’s Torah portion, Korach plots to overthrow Moshe (Moses). “Korach…took [himself to one side] along with Datan and Aviram, the sons of Eliav, and On ben (son of) Pelet, descendants of Reuven. They confronted Moshe together with 250 men…” The earth opens and swallows Korach and his followers, but the Sages teach that On ben Pelet is spared, and that it is his wife who saves him.

The Talmud (Sanhedrin 110) says that Korach’s wife incites him to rise up against Moshe. By contrast, the Talmud (Sanhedrin 109b) notes that On ben Pelet’s wife advises her husband to stay out of the fray. She asks her husband, “What difference will the outcome make to you? No matter who is named leader, you still will be a disciple.” In other words, she tells On that because he will never be the leader, he has nothing to gain from getting involved in the rebellion.

On’s wife states an obivious fact, but it is nothing short of the brilliance King Solomon attributes to her in Mishlei/Proverbs 14:1: “The wise woman builds her house.” 

Rav Yissocher Frand cites Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz: “When most people are involved in machlokes (disputes), they lose their cool and their common sense. The fire of machlokes – picking sides, getting involved, becoming part of it – is all-powerful. There is an overriding tendency and evil inclination to throw away one’s common sense and jump into the blinding dynamics of machlokes. It requires brilliance to overcome that tendency and instead use such a simple and down to earth approach. Maintaining common sense in moments of tension requires great wisdom.”

As parents, it is tempting to involve ourselves in arguments at our children’s schools, during our children’s competitive events, with our children’s friends’ parents. Often the disputes are about the politics of organizations, institutions or families in which we are not principal players. When these situations arise, we must maintain common sense and avoid participating in matters that are not our concern. In this way, our children will learn to avoid arguing or taking sides when there simply is nothing to be gained.

http://www.torah.org/learning/ravfrand/5763/korach.html