In this week’s Torah portion, Korach plots to overthrow
Moshe (Moses). “Korach…took [himself to one side] along with Datan and
Aviram, the sons of Eliav, and On ben (son of) Pelet, descendants of Reuven.
They confronted Moshe together with 250 men…” The earth opens and swallows
Korach and his followers, but the Sages teach that On ben Pelet is spared, and
that it is his wife who saves him.
The Talmud (Sanhedrin 110) says that Korach’s wife incites
him to rise up against Moshe. By contrast, the Talmud (Sanhedrin 109b) notes
that On ben Pelet’s wife advises her husband to stay out of the fray. She asks
her husband, “What difference will the outcome make to you? No matter who is named
leader, you still will be a disciple.” In other words, she tells On that
because he will never be the leader, he has nothing to gain from getting
involved in the rebellion.
On’s wife states an obivious fact, but it is nothing short
of the brilliance King Solomon attributes to her in Mishlei/Proverbs
14:1: “The wise woman builds her house.”
Rav Yissocher Frand cites Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz: “When most
people are involved in machlokes (disputes), they lose their cool and
their common sense. The fire of machlokes – picking sides, getting
involved, becoming part of it – is all-powerful. There is an overriding
tendency and evil inclination to throw away one’s common sense and jump into
the blinding dynamics of machlokes. It requires brilliance to overcome that
tendency and instead use such a simple and down to earth approach. Maintaining
common sense in moments of tension requires great wisdom.”
As parents, it is tempting to involve ourselves in arguments
at our children’s schools, during our children’s competitive events, with our
children’s friends’ parents. Often the disputes are about the politics of
organizations, institutions or families in which we are not principal players.
When these situations arise, we must maintain common sense and avoid
participating in matters that are not our concern. In this way, our children
will learn to avoid arguing or taking sides when there simply is nothing to be
gained.
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