Bamidbar 5772

This week’s parsha opens the fourth book of Torah, Bamidbar (in the wilderness). Its English name is Numbers, relating to G-d’s request to conduct a census before He gives the Jewish people the Torah. In the third chapter, the Levites are counted: “These are the descendants of Moshe and Aharon… Nadav and Avihu died before the L-rd when they brought alien fire before the L-rd in the Sinai Desert, and they had no children.”

Why does Torah emphasize that Nadav and Avihu died childless?

Nadav and Avihu died supernatural and mysterious deaths. Torah tells in Vayikra/Leviticus (10:1) and repeats here, that they brought “alien fire” into the Holy Tabernacle. The Sages offer many explanations, most pointing to a lack of respect. Some say the brothers were intoxicated and violated the sanctity of a holy place; others say that they issued a legal ruling without consulting Moshe, the authority they should have respected.

Rabbi Yissocher Frand considers how one can measure the level of one’s own respectfulness. He answers: “By his children. If his children are disrespectful to him, he can be sure that he is not sufficiently respectful to others.”

Rabbi Frand cites Rav Wolbe’s Alei Shur, in which the Rav applies this concept to all areas of character development. “There is no greater factor in improving one’s midos [character traits] than having children.” Writes Rabbi Frand: “People have a tendency not to see their own flaws, but they see the flaws of their children all too well. And if they are intelligent, thinking people, they will realize they do not have to seek too far for the source of their children’s flaws, and they will make every effort to correct the situation.”

Rabbi Frand surmises that if Nadav and Avihu had children, they would have noticed if their children acted disrespectfully. They would have realized that as fathers, they themselves were to blame for their children’s poor behavior. Having children would have given them the opportunity to improve their own level of respectfulness.

This parsha always is read before Shavuot, the festival commemorating the giving of the Torah. (This year the holiday will be observed in the Diaspora on Saturday evening, May 26 and ends Monday evening, May 28.) The Midrash says that when G-d offers the Torah to the Jewish people He asks us to provide a guarantor, and we offer our children. In other words, we promise to faithfully study Torah and teach it to our children. As parents, this serves as our commitment to constantly seek out and eradicate our own character flaws, lest we inadvertently transmit them to our children.