Devarim 5773

“These are the devarim (words) which Moshe (Moses) spoke to all Israel on that side of the Jordan in the desert, in the plain opposite the Red Sea, between Paran and Tofel and Lavan and Chazerot and Di Zahav.” (Devarim/Deuteronomy 1:1)

Thus begins the fifth and final book of Torah, Devarim. During his remaining days as leader, Moshe reiterates the laws and prepares the people for their future life in Israel. As part of his review Moshe subtly reminds the people of their past transgressions.

Why does Torah list the places in which the people of Israel sinned, rather than naming the transgressions?   

Writes Rashi citing Sifrei: “These are words of rebuke and he [Moshe] enumerates here all the places where they angered the Omnipresent, [but] makes no explicit mention of the incidents [and] rather merely alludes to them, out of respect for Israel.”

Moshe is careful to be respectful in his criticism so that he will be able to inspire the people to improve their behavior. Writes Rabbi Pinchas Winston on torah.org: “What came through his words was his love of the people, a people who had been the very cause of his own downfall. Yet, he restrained himself in their honor, and any criticism that reveals love is one that inspires change for the better.”

As parents, we may find ourselves criticizing our children for flaws in their behavior. If we would truthfully examine our own behavior, we likely would find the same flaws.  Writes Rabbi Winston: “To another adult one can say, ‘do as I say, not as I do,’ and maybe get away with it. However, children have difficulty separating philosophy from action, and end up imitating their parents’ actions despite their parents’ philosophy to the contrary. Whereas adults may reject criticism with the words ‘you’re just like me’, children may escape criticism by saying ‘I’m just like you.’”

Rabbi Winston suggests that we parents admit to our children that we have flaws, that we have made mistakes and that we would like to change. We should tell them that because of our own weaknesses, we understand how hard it is to change one’s behavior. We should remind them how much we care about them and the quality of their lives, and encourage them to change their behavior to improve their lives. Perhaps, then, we will be inspired to change our own behavior.

http://www.torah.org/learning/perceptions/5758/devarim.html

Published in loving memory of Rachel bas Sholom. May her holy neshama (soul) have an aliya (rise) in Shamayim (the heavens) and may her memory be for blessing.