Chukat 5771

In this week's parsha, Miriam dies and the miraculous travelling well of water (which G-d provides in her merit) disappears. The people complain to Moshe that there is no water to drink. G-d instructs Moshe: "Take the staff and assemble the congregation, you and your brother Aharon, and speak to the rock in their presence so that it will give forth its water. You shall bring forth water for them from the rock and give the congregation and their livestock to drink.  Moshe took the staff from before the L-rd as He had commanded him. Moshe and Aharon assembled the congregation in front of the rock, and he said to them, 'Now listen, you rebels, can we draw water for you from this rock?' Moshe raised his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, when an abundance of water gushed forth, and the congregation and their livestock drank.  The L-rd said to Moshe and Aharon, 'Since you did not have faith in Me to sanctify Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly to the land which I have given them.'"

What is the nature of Moshe and Aharon's sin that they receive the severe punishment of not entering the Land of Israel?

The precise nature of Moshe and Aharon's sin, for which G-d charges them with not believing in Him, is enigmatic, and is addressed by nearly all commentators. According to Rashi, the sin is that Moshe strikes the stone instead of only speaking to it, as G-d had instructed; according to Maimonides, it is that Moshe gets angry, and says, "Hear now, you rebels."

Chassidic Master Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Barditchev sees Maimonides' and Rashi's explanations as two sides of the same coin. If a leader's influence on the community is achieved through harsh words of rebuke, then his relationship with the environment is likewise: he will have to forcefully impose his will on it to get it to serve his people's needs and their mission in life. If, however, he influences his community by lovingly uplifting them to a higher place so that they, on their own, will desire to improve themselves, the world will likewise willingly yield its resources to the furtherance of his goals. (See http://www.chabad.org/parshah/in-depth/default_cdo/aid/45616/jewish/In-Depth.htm.)

As a leader, Moshe should never have harshly admonished the people or used physical force to emphasize a point. He would have been more effective, and indeed been able to penetrate stubborn hearts of stone, had he employed calm, non-abusive verbal communication rather than anger and physical force.

As parents, we must carefully choose the words and actions we use to rebuke our non-compliant children. There should be no name-calling, no demeaning, and under no circumstances must we ever substitute or accompany these words with physical force.