Vayishlach 5772

In this week's parsha, Yaakov (Jacob) returns to Canaan after a 20-year stay in Charan. He brings with him an entourage -- two wives, two handmaids, eleven sons, one daughter, animals and belongings. "And he took them, and brought them across the stream, and he brought across that which was his. And Yaakov was left alone…"

Why is Yaakov left alone?

Rashi explains that Yaakov is alone because he has forgotten some small jars, and he goes back to retrieve them. (The Hebrew word for "alone" is l'vado and the Hebrew word for "his jar" is l'kado.) He writes: "From here we see that the righteous treat their property with care, so that they should not send forth their hands in theft."

We learn from this that Yaakov places a high value on all his belongings, even small jars that might seem insignificant to others. Yaakov is grateful for all that he has because he understands that everything he possesses is a blessing from G-d and is meant to serve a purpose. Therefore he comprehends that none of his belongings, even little jars, should be abused, misused or wasted. Further, since Yaakov appreciates that everyone else's property is given to them as a gift from G-d, he cannot even think about taking something G-d has meant for someone else to have. With this attitude, Yaakov never feels deprived or lacking; G-d has provided all he needs and Yaakov has no desire to take what is not his.

As parents, how can we counter the effects of living in a world obsessed with acquiring the latest model of material goods, and discarding older items that are functional but no longer fashionable? How can we keep our children from desiring what others have?

We can begin by teaching our children to be grateful for what they have and to acknowledge that everything they have is a gift from G-d. In Hebrew, Jews are called Yehudim, a word rooted in the Hebrew word for thanks. Gratitude to G-d is built into Jewish practice. We thank G-d before and after we eat, when we wear a new item of clothing for the first time, when we hear good news and even when we hear bad news. This trains us to see that G-d is involved in every aspect of our lives; all we have or don't have is in His hands, because only He knows what and how much we need. This makes us feel content with what we have, so we don't covet what we don't have. Finally, we take special care of what we do have because it was given to us by G-d.