Vayeishev 5772

This week’s parsha begins: “Vayeishev Yaakov (Jacob settled.)” After years of living outside Canaan, Yaakov and his large family finally establish themselves in Canaan.  Rashi writes that vayeishev means that Yaakov seeks to live in Canaan b’shalvah, which means “in tranquility.” With his travails behind him -- the problems with his brother Esav, his daughter Dina, and his deceitful father-in-law Lavan -- all Yaakov wants is to be able to study, pray and live in peace. But this is not to be. As Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller so eloquently writes: “The response from Above was that this world is not the place where the righteous can have the quietude that we all yearn for.” 

The parsha continues: “[Yaakov] loved Yosef (Joseph) more than his [other ten] sons…[Yosef’s] brothers saw that it was he [Yosef] whom their father loved most of all his brothers, so they hated him and were not able to speak to him l’shalom (peaceably.)”

The Hebrew word for peace, shalom, usually is spelled with a vav, but in this case, the vav is missing. Why?  And why does the text read l’shalom, literally “towards peace” rather than b’shalom, in peace? 

Rebbi Levi bar Chaisa teaches that when one parts with the deceased, one should not say, "Lech l'shalom" (go towards peace), but rather, "Lech b'shalom" (go in peace.)  In contrast, when one parts with one’s friend, one should not say to him, "Lech b'shalom," but rather, "Lech l'shalom." The Vilna Gaon points out that Rebbi Levi bar Chaisa's teaching  explains the verse that describes the brothers' enmity towards Yosef. Out of their contempt for Yosef they cannot bring themselves to bless Yosef with the words l'shalom as one speaks to the living, but rather they prefer to treat him like a dead person.

Rabbi Yisroel Jungreis and Rabbi Osher Anshel Jungreis explain the meaning of the missing vav: without the vav, the gematria (numerical value) of l’shalom is 400, which is equal to the value of ayin ra, “evil eye.” They write: “The brothers looked upon Yosef with an evil eye, unable to see the good in him or to interpret his actions favorably.”

A few verses later, Yaakov sends Yosef to find his brothers: “Look into sh’lom achecha (the welfare of your brothers.)”  Here, the spelling of sh’lom includes the letter vav. Rav Simcha Bunim of P’shischa explains:  Since Torah relates that Yosef brings “evil reports of them [his brothers] to their father,” i.e., he sees them with an evil eye, Yaakov instructs Yosef to look into their sh’lom, that is, to try to see a complete or whole (in Hebrew, shalem) picture of his brothers – to judge them favorably, give them the benefit of the doubt, and seek out their positive attributes rather than their flaws.

After finally reconciling with his brother Esav, Yaakov knows a thing or two about seeking peace with one’s brother.  Although he seeks shalvah when he “settles” in Canaan, Yaakov soon is reminded that while we are alive, we must go l’shalom, towards peace/spiritual wholeness or completion, for it is only when we die and go to the Olam Haba (World to Come) that we truly can go b’shalom, in peace.

As parents, much as we desire it, we know it is impossible to have complete peace and tranquility in our relationships and in our homes. Nevertheless, we must never stop striving for it. We must take all steps necessary to move towards shalom, including judging others favorably and teaching our children to give others the benefit of the doubt.