Chol HaMoed Sukkot 5773

During the festival of Sukkot, we leave the comfort of home to reside in a sukkah, a temporary hut, shack or booth.  The sukkah reminds us that the Israelites dwelled in huts when they left Egypt: "You shall dwell in booths seven days… So that your generations may know that I made the children of Israel to dwell in booths, when I brought them out of the land of Egypt."

The Talmud (Sukkah 26a) explains that we dwell in the sukkah as if it were our home. We eat there, entertain there, read, study and may even sleep there. The Talmud (Sukkah 11b) also explains that this verse refers not only to physical huts, but also to the protective Clouds of Glory which G-d spread out over the Israelite encampment to protect the people during their travels.

Rabbi Akiva Tatz writes: “Dwelling in booths is at root an exercise in ego negation; it works to build faith in the spiritual Source and not in the material domain of man's control. The sukkah requires a roof that is very insubstantial -- it must be flimsy enough to allow the rain through; it is good if you can see the stars through it, too. 

One of the root meanings of the Hebrew word sukkah is ‘to see through.’ When we leave our permanent home, the proverbial ‘roof over our head,’ and move into a booth that has hardly a roof at all, we develop the ability to see through the material and perceive the higher. The tempting illusion is that our security derives from the material; the sukkah teaches that if there is security, it comes from elsewhere.

The kabbalistic texts call the sukkah the "shelter of faith." The festival of Sukkot occurs at the harvest season. The message is that when we bring the harvest into our home, just at the time when we may feel most independent, most self-secure, most independently wealthy, the Torah warns us to stay attached to the real Source of all that we have. On Sukkot, we read Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) – ‘All is vanity’; do not invest too much in this world.

Dwelling in booths serves to sensitize us to the higher world, to draw our gaze up metaphorically, through the sukkah's thin cover and not to the security of the concrete roofs of our permanent homes. This is a tangible experience of leaving the material and going out into a different kind of existence.”

Slovie Jungreis-Wolff writes: “Sitting in the sukkah under the stars, we realize that possessions do not bring peace. Life in this world is transient and we will never find serenity in that which is fleeting. We can understand that only living with purpose will bring us a sense of lasting peace.”

As we enter the sukkah, we offer a most beautiful prayer: "May it be Your will. my G-d and G-d of my forefathers, that You cause Your Presence to reside amongst us; that You spread over us the sukkah of Your peace."

Fellow parents, as you enter the sukkat shalom, the sukkah of peace, as you sit inside its walls, take a moment to look around. See the blessings that surround you and the joy that lies right before your eyes. This Sukkot, may you be surrounded by Clouds of Glory, walls of strength and know peace and serenity. Chag sameach! Have a joyous holiday. 

 

 

Chukat 5772

In this week’s parsha, Moshe’s brother, the Kohen Gadol Aharon (High Priest Aaron), dies. “The whole congregation saw that Aharon had expired, and the entire House of Israel (kol bet Yisroel) wept for Aharon for thirty days.”   The commentators contrast Aharon’s passing with that of Moshe, recounted at the end of Torah (Devarim/Deuteronomy 34:8): “And the sons of Israel (B’nai Yisroel) wept for Moshe in the plains of Moab for thirty days...”

Why is the mourning said to be greater for Aharon than for Moshe, though both mourning periods last thirty days?

Rashi explains: “[Both] the men and the women [mourned for Aharon], for Aharon would pursue peace and instill love between parties to a quarrel and between a man and his wife.” In his commentary on the death of Moshe, Rashi explains that although B’nai Yisroel ordinarily means Children of Israel, male and female, here it refers only to the men.

There is further clarification in the Midrash, Avot d’Rabbi Natan 12:3-4: “Why did Israel cry for Aharon for thirty days? Because…he never said to any man ‘you sinned’…[as opposed to] Moshe who rebuked them harshly.”  The Midrash tells that Aharon convinced sinners to change their ways simply by greeting them with a smile. They wouldn’t be able to sin knowing that the next time they saw Aharon they would have to return his greeting.

The Midrash also recounts that when two people argued, Aharon would talk to the parties separately and get them each to “dispel the ill feeling from his heart.” Thousands of couples named their sons Aharon to acknowledge that Aharon had made peace and reunited the husband and wife.

As parents, except in the most serious situations, we should avoid using harsh language to rebuke our children. Instead, we should follow the advice of Rabbi Hillel (Pirkei Avot 1:12) “Be among the disciples of Aharon, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving people and bringing them closer to Torah.”

Korach 5772

In this week’s parsha, Korach challenges Moshe’s leadership. The parsha begins: “Korach…took [himself to one side] along with Dathan and Abiram…They confronted Moshe together with 250 men…”

Pirkei Avot 5:20 (Ethics of Our Fathers) refers to Korach’s confrontation to make a point about arguments. “Any dispute that is for the sake of Heaven will ultimately endure, and any that is not for the sake of Heaven will not ultimately endure. What is a dispute for the sake of Heaven? The arguments between Hillel and Shammai. And those not for the sake of Heaven? The arguments of Korach and his followers.” (Rabbis Hillel and Shammai were early First Century scholars who frequently debated and had differing views on rituals, ethics and theology.)  

Why does Pirkei Avot name both Hillel and Shammai, but when referring to Korach’s dispute with Moshe, mention only one side of the dispute, Korach but not Moshe? 

Writes Rabbi Yissocher Frand based on the commentary of Rav Shimon Schwab: “In an argument for the sake of Heaven, both parties are interested in hearing the opinion of the other. Their goal is to arrive at the truth and in order to do so they have to hear both sides of the argument…But in an argument that is not for the sake of Heaven, such as that of Korach and his followers, there was no interest in discovering the truth.  There was only a grab for prestige and power…They turned a deaf ear to all the arguments against their position. Therefore their dispute did not really have two sides.”

Writes Rabbi Yisrael Bronstein, citing commentary of Rav Yonatan Eybeschutz: “The dispute was not between Korach and Moshe at all; rather, it was really between Korach and his assembly, as each of them was vying for leadership and power. Moshe Rabbeinu, however, did not take up their quarrel; on the contrary, he tried his utmost to appease them so as not to carry on a dispute that would eventually lead to disastrous results.” 

Often arguments begin about insignificant matters and then escalate until the parties reach an impasse. They may stop talking to one another and feel only hatred and resentment toward one another. Each one is convinced that he is right and that he must win the argument. The need for victory is so great that each side is blinded to the severe repercussions of continuing the argument. From such disagreements, friends and families may be torn apart irreparably.

Using three symbols of peace, Talmud (Berachos 56b) hints towards how to resolve disputes peacefully: be like a river, a bird, a kettle. Rabbis Yisroel and Osher Anshel Jungreis explain: a river controls its waters from overflowing, as we should control our tempers; a bird flies away from confrontation; a kettle appeases two opposing forces: where water alone would drench the food and fire would burn it, the kettle mediates and provides a productive result.

As parents, we should take Moshe's approach to avoid strife and achieve reconciliation within our families. Instead of speaking in anger, instead of acting impetuously, instead of condemning, we should bite our tongues, swallow our false pride and fight our impulse to engage in altercation.

Vayeishev 5772

This week’s parsha begins: “Vayeishev Yaakov (Jacob settled.)” After years of living outside Canaan, Yaakov and his large family finally establish themselves in Canaan.  Rashi writes that vayeishev means that Yaakov seeks to live in Canaan b’shalvah, which means “in tranquility.” With his travails behind him -- the problems with his brother Esav, his daughter Dina, and his deceitful father-in-law Lavan -- all Yaakov wants is to be able to study, pray and live in peace. But this is not to be. As Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller so eloquently writes: “The response from Above was that this world is not the place where the righteous can have the quietude that we all yearn for.” 

The parsha continues: “[Yaakov] loved Yosef (Joseph) more than his [other ten] sons…[Yosef’s] brothers saw that it was he [Yosef] whom their father loved most of all his brothers, so they hated him and were not able to speak to him l’shalom (peaceably.)”

The Hebrew word for peace, shalom, usually is spelled with a vav, but in this case, the vav is missing. Why?  And why does the text read l’shalom, literally “towards peace” rather than b’shalom, in peace? 

Rebbi Levi bar Chaisa teaches that when one parts with the deceased, one should not say, "Lech l'shalom" (go towards peace), but rather, "Lech b'shalom" (go in peace.)  In contrast, when one parts with one’s friend, one should not say to him, "Lech b'shalom," but rather, "Lech l'shalom." The Vilna Gaon points out that Rebbi Levi bar Chaisa's teaching  explains the verse that describes the brothers' enmity towards Yosef. Out of their contempt for Yosef they cannot bring themselves to bless Yosef with the words l'shalom as one speaks to the living, but rather they prefer to treat him like a dead person.

Rabbi Yisroel Jungreis and Rabbi Osher Anshel Jungreis explain the meaning of the missing vav: without the vav, the gematria (numerical value) of l’shalom is 400, which is equal to the value of ayin ra, “evil eye.” They write: “The brothers looked upon Yosef with an evil eye, unable to see the good in him or to interpret his actions favorably.”

A few verses later, Yaakov sends Yosef to find his brothers: “Look into sh’lom achecha (the welfare of your brothers.)”  Here, the spelling of sh’lom includes the letter vav. Rav Simcha Bunim of P’shischa explains:  Since Torah relates that Yosef brings “evil reports of them [his brothers] to their father,” i.e., he sees them with an evil eye, Yaakov instructs Yosef to look into their sh’lom, that is, to try to see a complete or whole (in Hebrew, shalem) picture of his brothers – to judge them favorably, give them the benefit of the doubt, and seek out their positive attributes rather than their flaws.

After finally reconciling with his brother Esav, Yaakov knows a thing or two about seeking peace with one’s brother.  Although he seeks shalvah when he “settles” in Canaan, Yaakov soon is reminded that while we are alive, we must go l’shalom, towards peace/spiritual wholeness or completion, for it is only when we die and go to the Olam Haba (World to Come) that we truly can go b’shalom, in peace.

As parents, much as we desire it, we know it is impossible to have complete peace and tranquility in our relationships and in our homes. Nevertheless, we must never stop striving for it. We must take all steps necessary to move towards shalom, including judging others favorably and teaching our children to give others the benefit of the doubt.

Korach 5771

In this week's parsha, Korach stages a rebellion and tries to overthrow Moshe and Aharon. The parsha opens "And Korach took…" Korach "took" the people with lies and manipulation and persuaded 250 men to follow him. Moshe's reaction to this confrontation is revealing: "Moshe heard and fell on his face [in prayer.] He spoke to Korach and to all his company, saying, 'In the morning, the L-rd will make known who is His…'"

What can we learn from Moshe's response to confrontation? What is the deeper meaning of the wait for morning?

Instead of expressing anger and lashing out against his attackers, Moshe tries to reason with them. The Hebrew word for "morning" is boker. Rabbis Yisroel and Osher Anshel Jungreis note that boker is closely related to the Hebrew word bikoret, which means "to clarify" or "to investigate." They conclude that Moshe hopes his adversaries will "sleep on it" before they act – that they will examine their motivation and reconsider their evil plans. From this, we learn that we should not act rashly to counter our opponents. We should try to make peace by asking them to investigate, find clarity and hopefully they will abandon their opposition plans overnight.

As parents, we should take Moshe's approach to avoid strife and achieve reconciliation within our families. Instead of speaking in anger, instead of acting impetuously, instead of condemning, we should bite our tongues, swallow our false pride and fight our impulse to engage in altercation. The Talmud (Sanhedrin, 110A) proclaims: "Anyone who engages in divisiveness transgresses a Divine prohibition, as it is written [in this week's parsha]: 'And he shall not be as Korach and his company.'" Rather, we should emulate Moshe and do as the psalmist recommends: "Seek peace and pursue it."