Shelach 5774

In this week’s Torah portion, Moshe (Moses) sends out men to scout conditions in the Land of Israel. The men return and report seeing giants. “In our eyes, we seemed like grasshoppers, and so we were in their eyes.” (Bamidbar/Numbers 13:33)

What does the scouts’ report teach about how we see ourselves and how we appear to others?

The scouts thought that Israel’s inhabitants viewed them as small in size and easy to conquer. What really happened is that the spies felt small and grasshopper-like in their own eyes, so they believed that was the way Israel’s inhabitants would perceive them.

Adam Lieberman notes on www.aish.com the irony that the way we see ourselves is exactly how we think others feel about us. If we want people to feel differently about us, he advises that we have to change the way we feel about ourselves. For example, if we are able to see ourselves as worthy of respect and love, we will appear loveable and deserving of respect, and we will be respected and loved.

As parents, we want our children to think well of themselves so others will think highly of them and will want to be their friends. We can boost our children’s confidence and self-esteem by pointing out and praising their positive characteristics and expressing our pride in their efforts. They will internalize our good impressions and project a positive outlook to others.

http://www.aish.com/tp/b/ll/48960731.html  

Behaalotcha/Shelach 5773

“Miriam and Aharon spoke against Moshe regarding the Cushite woman he had married.” (Bamidbar/Numbers 12:1)

At the end of this week’s parsha, Behaalotcha, Miriam discovers that Moshe (Moses) has separated from his wife. She discusses her concern with Aharon (Aaron). They equate Moshe’s level of prophecy with their own and cannot understand why Moshe has chosen to abstain from marital relations while they remain with their spouses. In fact, G-d has instructed Moshe to remain ritually pure so that he constantly is prepared to receive G-d’s word.

G-d becomes angry that Miriam has criticized His most exalted prophet and He afflicts Miriam with tzaraat, a leprosy-like skin condition. For seven days, until she recovers, Miriam is exiled from the camp. The people in the camp do not move on until Miriam rejoins them, giving them time to contemplate the importance of shmirat lashon (guarding one’s speech).

“Send out for yourself men who will scout the Land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Children of Israel.”  (Bamidbar/Numbers 13:1)

At the beginning of next week’s parsha, Shelach, Moshe sends out scouts to report on the condition of the Land of Israel. They describe the Land as one that “devours its inhabitants”. Wherever they go, they witness funerals, so they assume the Land is dangerous. In fact, G-d has arranged for there to be many deaths and burials during the scouts’ visit so that the inhabitants of the Land will be distracted and not notice the scouts.

Rabbi Mordechai Willig on torahweb.org comments on the juxtaposition of the two Torah portions: “Miriam’s basic mistake was the misinterpretation of the facts. She thought that Moshe had decided on his own to abstain, and she questioned his decision. In reality, however, Moshe was commanded to do so. Miriam’s lashon hara (improper speech) was caused by her incorrect understanding of a situation that she had discovered.”

Rabbi Willig notes that the scouts made a mistake similar to the one Miriam made. Writes Rabbi Willig: “The lesson that the meraglim (scouts) should have learned from Miriam was the need to be certain about the facts before criticizing a person or a land…Once the negative impression of the land took hold in the people’s minds, it was impossible to uproot. Such is the power of negative speech…that it is difficult, if not impossible, to rectify.”

As parents, we must make sure we have all the facts before we criticize our children. We should not rush to judgment and should always give them the benefit of the doubt. If we must criticize, we should do so privately so that we do not embarrass our children, and so that we do not creative a negative impression of them for others.  

http://www.torahweb.org/torah/2000/parsha/rwil_teitsei.html

Shelach 5772

This week’s parsha recounts the episode of the twelve spies sent to Canaan. Ten of the twelve return with a false, negative report, that the land cannot be conquered, despite what G-d has promised. After the story of the spies, the parsha relates several mitzvot, including hafrashat challah, separation of a portion of dough before baking.

 “When you arrive in the Land to which I am bringing you, and you eat from the bread of the Land, you shall set aside a terumah (gift) for the L-rd. The first portion of your dough, you shall separate a loaf for a terumah…From the first portion of your dough you shall give a terumah to the L-rd in [all] your generations.”  The mitzvah today in English is called “taking challah” and is accomplished by taking an egg-sized piece of kneaded dough from the mixture, setting it aside before baking and making a blessing over it. (For instructions, see http://www.secretofchallah.com/50708/how_to_separate_challah)

How does the mitzvah of hafrashat challah relate to the episode of the spies?

Rabbi Avrohom Gordimer on ou.org notes that Torah refers to hafrashat challah as a form of terumah (gift offering to G-d). Just as one would dedicate the first portion of produce as terumah, so do we dedicate a section of each batch of dough. While terumah of produce is taken from raw, unprocessed produce, the challah offering is taken from dough, a substance that the baker has processed by combining flour with water.

The baker may mistakenly view this dough as his personal handiwork, just as the spies mistakenly believed that their success in conquering Canaan would depend on their own efforts and power. Writes Rabbi Gordimer: “[Through the mitzvah of hafrashat challah] the baker must treat his batch as raw produce and recognize that G-d is the Master of the Universe and is to be credited for all that is.” 

Writes Chana Slavaticki on chabad.org: “On a broader scale, bread, also known as the ‘staff of life’, is a metaphor for all of physicality and materialism. In many cultures, the term ‘dough’ is slang for money (as in ‘got dough?’). This is because money enables us to buy our ‘dough’ – our sustenance as well as all our material needs. It is also why one who earns an income is called the ‘breadwinner’. Just as the farmer [or baker] can mistakenly conclude that it was his talent and effort that resulted in his dough, it is all too easy for a person to attribute his ‘dough’ (his material success) to his brilliance, beauty, creativity or charisma.”

As parents, it is tempting to take credit for our own successes and for those of our children. Our Sages tell us that this is avodah zarah, idolatry. All we accomplish, and all we possess, comes from G-d.